How to make your wedding and marriage more equal

Healthy relationship is built upon equality and honoring each other’s views and personality. This is also true when it comes to planning a wedding. You should be able to communicate your wants about your wedding day and tell each other what is most important aspect about the wedding for you.

Sometimes it might take some compromising but that’s what relationship are about. After all, you’ll most likely have big and important decisions in your future as a married couple so it pays of to practice like that.

We’ve heard about couples that are about to pull off the wedding because they fight about it too much. I know that things can get heated and there are lots of emotions involved but I say it’s better to tackle these issues now. Take your time, listen to each others and maybe ask some help. If you love each others then you will be able to overcome these obstacles.

You don’t have to do the things that seem too old fashioned or unequal. But if you want your father to escort you to the aisle then do it! Instead go father ’giving his daughter to groom’ you can think that your father or other loved one is standing by your side at the start of new phase in your life.

Customs and their meanings change and reform as times goes by. We don’t think it’s wrong to let yourself experience some old fashioned romance or customs if you’re so inclined. When your relationship is on equal and healthy footing, those kind of small customs aren’t going to wreck it.

It’s most important to make the wedding day look like you. Go through what you like and what you don’t and also tell your bridal party about your decisions.

Sharing responsibilities and acknowledging the work your loved one does is part of equality when it comes to relationships and marriage. Now, in my mind it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to half every laundry stack or lawn moving, but try to make sure both of you know what the other is bringing into table and make sure the other gets enough help and time for themselves too.

The same goes with wedding planning: it’s not fair to put one person in charge of the whole planning. It’s okay if one has the vision and the other one doesn’t have too much to say about it. But make sure that you go through about the plan every now and then. If you are the one who’s not taking part to the visioning make sure you regularly ask your spouse if there is something they need.

There is this way of thinking that we inherited from the 1950’s that weddings are the bride’s most important day. First, there are going to be so many more important days but secondly, the day is about the couple. Both people getting married are facing a really important day and they should be exited. Maybe they are a bit anxious too. Make sure that both can be as much in the spotlight and receive love and support in the planning.

Nowadays many things that are associated with preparing for the wedding are seen very feminine. Beauty salons, clothes shopping, parties with cupcakes… But these things aren’t gender coded and we are well past gender roles, right? So make it possible for both to get all the pampering they want. After all it is such a nice opportunity to feel that little extra special.

It’s also a lovely idea to include few wedding planning date nights. Maybe do something special together and do through some wedding to do things. Get some date night ideas from Christmas Bucket List for Engaged and Newlyweds and Last minute Valentine’s’ Day Date Ideas.

For many this is no brainer but I felt this is important to say aloud. The home should reflect everyone who lives in there and everyone should have some space for themselves.

Sometimes it happens that the home is mainly in the hands of one person when it comes to decorating and taking care of it. In the long run it can stir up sour feelings either about not having help or not having space and chance to make decisions about home. That is why equality is important also when it comes to physical home.

When it comes to the wedding, I’ve said it before that you should make sure that both persons get heard in the planning and that both can incorporate their important aspects to the big day. Split funds for the outfits fairly, maybe get your both’s favorite desserts!